I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
