Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
