Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
