Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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