I skipped work to stalk him.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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