I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize