This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
