If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
