So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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