apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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