hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
