Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
