Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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