You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
