I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
