you're like a bully in the Christmas story
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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