Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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