At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Randomize
