Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
