'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.