I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
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It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
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I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...