first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
from now on my penis is your penis
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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