on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
