kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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