My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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