You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
