what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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