You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
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I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
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So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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