We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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