Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
