You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
