Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am puke
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Who died my cat blue again?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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