I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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