He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
