i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
