Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
