wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I wear drunk well.
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