i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
