it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
