Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
