the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
