Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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