Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize