Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
