Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
