So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
