we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize