He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize