apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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