I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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