i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
