$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
