We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
