I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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