she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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