he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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