This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
