I seem to have left my pride at pride
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
