what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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