Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I've blown a few things in my day
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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