What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think my vagina is haunted
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
