I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
