It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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