he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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