Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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