Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
