She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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