you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
